Read Confessions - Page 29

#539 (11 comments): i hate my vulva it's slightly blackened and it just sickens me. it doesn't look right it doesn't look right.
    -- free pickpocket

#538 (2 comments): I love christina aguilera!!!!
she is so damn cute!!
    -- middle class chef

#537 (6 comments): I have kissed a fish before and a girl
    -- fionna

#536 (12 comments): Revised version

I laugh at those religious people they are so funny some times.

Warning the following conversations edits came from true religious people

Conversation with Christian:

me: "hey man earth is billions of years old man!"
Christian guy:" no man it's 6000 years old and it is created in 7 days."
Me:" but that Larry king guy on CNN is older then that!!"
me:" wow look at these dinosaurs bones man!"
Christian guy guy:" no man the dinosaurs are not real and there are no genetic mutations that caused the evolution because god made us all, oh and if you don't join us Christians you are going to hell!!! So repent And let god forgive you."
Me:"what about the fossils from all the previous animals ? You know from millions of years ago?"
Christian guy:"a massive conspiracy..."
Me:" right...."

Conversation with Muslim guy:
Muslim guy:"hey man join us and you get 72 virgins!"
Me:"is that virgin men or girls? Cause I don't want 72 virgin guys running around in my house."
Muslim guy:" I don't know.. I'll look it up I guess."
Me:"Mmmm pork...."
Muslim guy:"no man that is bad! You are going to hell!"
Me:"why?"
Muslim guy:" pigs are a sacred animal they are holy!"

Conversation with Buddhist
The following is fiction
Me:" yeah I need money man got any?"
Buddhist:" here's my wallet knock yourself out."
Me:" gee thanks"


So as you can see religious people are either ignorant, dorky or pacifist...
    -- #1 atheist

#534 (6 comments): Well I finally had my first lesbian experience. It was with my boyfriend's hot younger sister and it was really nice. She is really beautiful and knew just what I like in bed. I told her that I wish she could give her brother (my bf) some tips on how to eat my pussy better but she doesn't know how to bring up the subject without making him suspect anything. Oh well, for now she said she would love to service me any time I want. Guess I'll enjoy the best of both worlds for now, yum!
    -- horrible booger

#533 (5 comments): One of my best friends has become a slut. Well, sort of. She used to be sweet and more mature I guess? And just this week alone she made out with a boy twice. And the thing is, she just likes spending time with him and doesn't genuinely like him? She's just being hormonal and lusty and my friend and I think it's really bad for her because she keeps thinking that she'll be in total control but we're worried the boy might make use of her and everything. This sucks I hope the problem resolves itself. It's killing me that she's making out with this boy it's sick sick sick because they used to date three years back and nothing went on physically but he two-timed with one of her close friends.
    -- loose aunt

#532 (4 comments): I have been going out with a girl for a half a year now. we are both in university, she is smart and beautiful. I'm not the stupid ugly guy but I feel she is too perfect for me... good in bed.nice ass and real tits, blonde hair... and I can always start a intellectual or just normal conversation with her. she is so perfect.....
    -- middle class chef

#529 (10 comments): i have a crush on my sister
    -- none

#528 (3 comments): I say we execute every terrorist ever captured, I live in toronto and these terrorists terrorists were arrested friday night, I can't believe they are being treated like human in the prison. in a communist country, they would be shot already... as strange as it sounds I'm actually wishing to be in a communist country. and Filipino dude! I agree with you, I heard about it on the news and i'm outraged by the ignorance of these people for other culture. also I really don't understand the hatred for canadians by americans. calling them retarded brother of america. so here I stand my middle finger raised to those people who have no tolerance for other people's culture and terrorists and giving them a well deserved "fuck you bitch". you don't like me? then bomb me!
    -- i hate terrorists

#527 (3 comments): I ate all 3 chocolate bars and didnt leave one for my little brother, so then my grandma slapped me on the bottom for being a naughty boy and being too greedy!
    -- tired step-grandfather

#526 (17 comments): I'm 36 and last saturday I screwed my buddys 14 year old daughter, but I wasn't the first one.
    -- wealthy burglar

#520 (7 comments): Every night I jerk off to two of my teachers and 40 other girls I make believe that they r on top of my dick. Just last friday no1 went to my skool and I walk in and I tell my teacher if she wanted 2 go somewhere else and we went 2 a room where noone could see us and she jerked me off gave me head and rode my dick she will be getting married this summer and she said that she likes my dick better than her fiances. I am going to try to fuck my other teacher. They really kno each other so mayb a 3way will happen.
    -- I love skool

#519 (6 comments): i have akid how i really don't want and i don't know what to do i fill like killing him sometimes cause he don't mind.
    -- opposite pig

#516 (7 comments): I'm a 19 year old guy, I wear girls panties, saturday night me and a buddy were out driving around, untill then he didn't know that I wore them, but now he does, and he knows why.
    -- wealthy burglar

#515 (19 comments): I have been having sex with my friends 19 yr old daughter. She is so hot I can't resist but I know if he finds out he will probably kill me. She says she thinks she is in love with me which is kind of troubleing because I am 30 years older than her however I can't give up the pleasure of her sitting over me and lowering her hot wet pussy onto my rock hard cock and riding me into oblivion. Am I selfish? I don't know how to end it.
    -- energetic terrorist

#514 (11 comments): I masterbate alot. Im addicted. Is that wrong?
    -- Loney Guy

#511 (12 comments): i hate my mother, my life would improve drastically if she and my father fell ill and died.
    -- good father

#508 (3 comments): the reason why i have to confessions is because i misspelled Enrique Iglesias' name! sorry guys... i was carried away! damn those racists!
    -- pretty Filipina

#507 (14 comments): I hate racists! I'm a Filipina and I was so upset when I found out that a 7 year-old Filipino boy was reprimanded by a school administrator in CANADA for using a SPOON! And the worse part is they called the boy a "PIG!" Well guess what, those racists are worse than pigs! I'm not saying that all Canadians are racists, I'm only referring to those involved and to all the racists in the world! I bet you guys don't even know how Filipinos have helped the world. Here are some Filipino inventions: FLOURESCENT LIGHT, YOYO, KARAOKE, MOON BUGGY, TOASTER and theBLACK BOX! Do you guys know that Enrique Iglesias' mother is Spanish-Filipino, did you know that the singing voice behind Princess Jasmine and Mulan is a Filipina? Did you guys know that Monique Lhuillier( the fashion designer who designed Britney Spears' wedding gown) is a Filipino and that APL from the Black EyEd Peas is a Filipino?! and that the head chef at NOBU is a Filipino?! Rob Schneider, Tia Carere, Lou Diamond Philipps have Filipino blood! and Robin Williams is married to a Filipina! You racists are sick people! God bless GOOD FOREIGNERS!
    -- pretty Filipina

#505 (3 comments): i'm so annoyed with my brother, i just wanna pound him! what the fuck!
    -- serious horse