When the doorbell rings, if I’m not expecting somebody, I become momentarily afraid that some form of law enforcement has found proof of the things I’ve watched, and could somehow retrieve them from my computer.

Most people believe I am one of the safe people… The kind of guy that you could leave your children with, and not worry… What would they do if they knew?

I think I’m becoming obessesed with him and I don’t know what to do to stop this obsession that is driving me insane and I know is not a healthy thing!!!! Every day, I check out his Facebook page to learn what he’s been up to, and I feel awful when I read that he is been involved in some activities on Facebook but that he didn’t contact me on that day.

I hate feeling this way, and I don’t know what to do to change this situation, but at the same time I don’t want to lose contact with him, because it means the world to me.

I’ve always harbored a secret obsession with cannibalism. It probably began in childhood with stories of the Donner Party and the movie “Alive”. In my teens I read every book I could on depraved subjects like Jeffery Dahmer, Albert Fish, and Ed Gein. I always thought to myself, that if it came down to it, I would be capable of eating human flesh. Now to put it to the test…

I only had to wait a few days for a good donor to come in. I still remember his name, and will take it to my grave. I sliced his thigh open with a scalpel and excised a nice long strip of sartorius muscle.

We breaded and fried the flesh until it was well done and served it with some asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes, and a sweet raspberry sauce. A glass of red wine and a few candles gave our dinner a special touch. I should have sliced off much more than I did, as the meat shrunk a considerable amount. We were left with a couple of decent sized bites each though. It tasted very good! Similar to buffalo, but with a distinct flavor and texture that few will ever experience first hand.

One day when we were watching a movie and she fell asleep, she was right next to me and i just kept staring at her tits then i moved my hand and grabbed her left boob, then she woke up. Darn!! i remember that when i was like 6 or 7 i would do what they did on tv make-out. i made out with my sister, we didn’t talk about it but i was only able to kiss her on her neck not her mouth. the longer we made-out the more i got to do, first i was able to grab her boobs from the outside of her shirt then she would lift up her shirt, i was able to grab her bra and some skin. she has really big boobs.

One time, i remember she almost took off her bra, but my mom called her and we had to stop. im 16 and she’s 26, and i can’t stop thinking about how she makes me really hard and how i really want to have sex with her. that’s my confession

That’s how depraved I was. But one day in 2005 the Lord killed something within me in the middle of a masturbation session and I’ve never been the same. The realization that I was letting my hand determine where I would spend the rest of my eternity settled on me.

I turned from my sin and put my faith in Christ as the only Savior. I’ve been free ever since, and I now try to help guys that are addicted to porn and masturbation the best way I can.

Soli Deo Gloria, “All glory to God”.

there’s this boy in my 2nd block.
oh man is he sexy.
i dont even pay attention in class anymore.
i just put my head down and fantasize about having sex with him.
hes always telling me how big his dick is, and i want it so bad. but he has a girlfriend, and he talks to a girl that i know. BUT I WANT HIM.

i wanna be the girl he talks to everyday and every night. i wanna be the girl he gives head to and fucks from the back. i wanna be his girl

the sad thing is, just because i fall for the baddest boys, he WILL cheat on me. and i will be the one looking stupid -_-

I stand in the Black Rain. Where half-poisons kill. Where meaning is nothing, where purpose is something too far away to hold. Jesus, save me. Please save me. That is my one desire. I desire you more than life itself.

After she gave my cock a mushy strokes, she stopped for a moment, then she stared at me for a while. I suddenly felt guilty of what I have done with her. Her innocent-looking eyes were like saying me to stop this nonsense, but her body language conquered what’s inside those eyes and proved me wrong.

She grabbed my member and started to suck. The aura of her lust and desire for me is so strong, as I watched her thrusting my dick like a lollipop and juggling my balls. My lil’ sis, for her young adolescence, turned herself to a woman at that very moment.

“Make come, make me come, please fuck me hard, I want you, I want you right now, quick!”

I didn’t stand a chance against her will, so I readily embraced her to the toilet sink, and positioned her perfectly for a ‘doggy’.

I felt nervous at that instance, aiming to her spot, her wet pussy begging for a penetration..But Bubbles can’t stand the waiting no more, so she grabbed my cock and she speared it right on the spot..!

Then I put my hand on her love handles and started to come..The “Ooh’s” and “Aah’s” began as I deeply come into my slutty sister’s paradise. We both were saying “I love you’s” to each other as we go along..
Then we broke to make another style..

I mashed and ate her breasts like crazy and fingered and fucked all afternoon. While my dick found a new home to her sizzling wet pussy.

We took all of that stolen moments for our desires to be fulfilled. After I fucked her hard, I gave my shot of what my cum tastes like. I let her extract all of its contents like files to WinRar..!

“Ohh…oh, baby..You’re fantastic..I love you, I love you Bubbles..Oh,oh..” I said as she unloaded my cum.

“Yeah..ooh yeah…Fuck me again baby.. Fuck me next time, my lover..”

I didn’t make a promise to her ’cause I don’t want this thing to happen again. But I know, she will haunt me for more.

Luckily for us two, my sexy mom and sister Blossom arrived 7pm. We had ourselves spending time tasting each other and fucked the afternoon long.

We just acted like nothing’s happened as promised.
(To be continued…)

i really like chubby girls, shes kinda chubby. But I need some fat to grab a hold of i want to stuff her until her fat belly is so soft and squishy i could ejaculate.

i want to stuff her and have her pants rip and her shirt buttons pop that would make me so hard, i want to feed her so bad.

[Translation: Portuguese » English]

I love Mia, Marlene and Beatriz. 3 women, which is in common? The fact that they all have gone through a tragedy or several of them in life. The fact that all of them are beautiful, the fact that I do not know how to always be those people that attract me and for me that I love. The fact that love them and feel what they felt over the life of them. I do not know why but all the people that attract me in the beginning and that later in the know are just a Bea, Mia and Marlene. I wonder why I? Why? Because I always loved by such people? Is luxuria calling for me? If that was why I feel it is more than that? I love them both. And I’m completely in the shit. Because my life stops because of it. For more laps I try to give. It attempts to do more to move on. For more initiatives that invention and try to do to forget everything else. Everything ends up wrong. I’m tired of living in that kind of world, where individualism reigns, where each is for you, where nobody is able to look the other and help him. I hate it. When we got the point. I know that I’m alive but I feel that all the dead time. People are dead inside, and I will understand. The Mia and Bea were people who did everything to give life … and failed. The Marlene is another. Why the hell am I love me again, by someone who certainly will end the same way that ended with the other two.

I look at pictures and videos of him everyday for the past week or so… I wish he were in my real life… my real life is starting to feel so empty… I feel that he is my soulmate.

I am so much like him, but I am inward in my world whereas he is always performing…

I first met him a year and a half ago, and I loved him right away but tried to hide my feelings because I didn’t think anything could happen. But every time I see him, he is so happy to see me and we talk for hours. But he has never tried very hard to contact me, outside of a few emails.

I am afraid because he is a public figure that I am indulging my feelings and getting being a fan mixed up with being a lover or a friend, and that I will ruin things by feeling too much… but if I keep pretending I DON’T feel as much then nothing will happen between us.

Confused, in love or something in between obsession and angst-ridden love?

Only once I had the chance to tickle a pretty girl…and that was so fantastic. It was very short, maybe less than a minute, and she was using a very soft white socks…. I remember the moment of my first contact with that feet… I was so excited… I felt her warm feet…I got a little sensation of them slightly wet… Then I started tickling, very slowly… She saw me, and laugh in a discreet manner…

oh my god….

That was the best minute of my life…

Well, when I visited my Grandma’s home for Christmas break, my aunt and uncle where living there also. I never met my aunt until the day I visited Grandma. She was hotter than I expected, but she also had hot feet too. Now, I couldn’t just ask her for a foot rub or maybe even worship, so I did the next best thing. At night when everyone was sleeping, I would sniff her shoes and socks endlessly. The stronger the odor the better. Even after she wore them after the family went out sometimes. I feel dirty, but aroused and confused. She’s my aunt, I find her pretty attractive too. I’m kinda sickened by it too, but I fantasize sometimes about rubbing her feet, licking her soles gently, sucking her beautiful toes, and smelling those odors. She’s family and I’m really confused by it. I try to sneak a sniff whenever I visit and it sure turns me on!

Every since i lost my virginity and broke up, my best friend has been my vibrating toothbrush.

As I developed and started getting older it would happen more often and they would make comments about my breasts and body. They would actually tell me how cute I was and compliment my figure. I started to realize that I enjoyed it when they saw me naked or in my bra and panties and that it aroused me. Leaving my bedroom or bathroom door open a few inches helped in letting them see me naked more often. Naturally I never did that when my mother was at home and I know she would be upset if she knew what I was doing.

I can’t help feeling like I do and have even let their friends see me nude many times over the last year or two. I know for sure that 4 of Brads friends and 5 or 6 of Kyles friends have seen me naked. It gets me so excited that I masturbate just thinking about it. Brad even caught me mastubating once, but that was embarrassing because I know he was watching me for a long time and told me so. My step dad saw me naked also two times that I know of but I don’t think he told my mother about it. I really didn’t mean for him to see me though. I like when the boys see me but don’t want my stepdad or mother to know what I’m doing.

This is where the story goes:
My parents had their divorce because of their so-called “differences”. My dad migrated somewhere in the US with his new woman. All of my siblings, (including me) are living with my mom in our rented apartment. It’s me with my mom, my elder sister (21), my identical sister (17), and my youngest sister (14).

Since then, it was my mom who took in charge of all the duties my dad left behind. She, by the way, is a doctor, only 36 yrs. old, (I think she was just 15 when she got pregnant with my elder sister). She is now one of the new acquisitions for public hospital surgeons, and practicing her profession in a public hospital.

My elder sister now works as a Nursing clinical instructor in a well-renowned University here in our place. She graduated ‘Magna Cum Laude’ and she got a spot in the top 10 during the Nursing board exams.

Meanwhile, me and my twin sister (both 17, although she was a few hours older) are currently studying in college, also Nursing, where our eldest use to work.

She is far more better than me, academically. A dean’s lister, a candidate for our U’s outstanding students, and also candidate for Miss University. And I’m so jealous with her academic prowess, up until now. She usually beats me up in all of our subjects.. Never did I have a chance to take the lead bet. the 2 of us..

The youngest of the siblings, my ever-so-cute cuddly-wuddly sis. She’s the sweetest and the most thoughtful, esp. to me. Everytime she sees me, she always gives me a lovely hug. She, by the way, got the genes that I never had from my mom: being a ‘brainiac’. All of the are academically excellent except for me.. I felt like I was just a thorn among the bunch of roses. I even once started to think that I was just an adopted sibling. But my mom proved me wrong by showing me the scar that the surgery left in me and my twin sister. I was convinced.

Almost all of them, including my mom, have graduated elementary with a ‘Valedictorian’ in their names. The fact that I can never be like them is what I’m jelling about.

I call my sisters ‘THE POWERPUFF GIRLS’ because of their traits as persons. My older sister being the leader of the siblings, the one closest to mom and being the ‘Blossom’ of the trio.

The boyish image of ‘Buttercup’ lies on my twin sister. She, I think, is more like a ‘boy’ than me. She is more aggressive, more gutsy and more smarter bet. the 2 of us. I’m more like of a ‘shyboy’ type, the ever-silent and the one who is very limited in speaking. She uses to wear black dresses to tell the world her ‘EMO’ side. Nevertheless, underneath that very loose and thick black garment is a one hot, sexy chick that’s waiting to be revealed, I tell ya!

And there was my ever-sweet, loving little sister. The one who’s giving me hugs almost many times a day. Its kinda strange on my side as her older brother for her being too close, but nevertheless fine. She’s currently in high school. We have our everyday heart-to-heart talk where she confesses to me all of what happened, the latest showbiz gossips and more! Hehe!

She had a lot of admirers, from friends, classmates, even teachers bec. of her beauty. I was wondering why she doesn’t go out with even one of the guys who courts her, so I asked. She said to me that she has no time for them. She spends more time in their dance practices (she’s also in their school’s performing arts club).

I always wonder why she gets to have very excellent grades despite of all of their daily practices, and still having the time to study. She is the closest to me amongst of us. She tells me almost everything, except for that one thing that can make our relationship as brother-sister go on nuts: the secret that she has kept, but unnoticeably obvious, her desire of having me as her lover, as in.

One day, I arrived home form school and I’ve noticed her watching TV all by herself. As in nobody’s home bec. my mom and my older sis went shopping. She quickly grabbed my bag and hugged me so tight. I had many things that I have noticed about her that instance.

She wore a sando shirt together with a very short skirt., and seemed she was so sexy. Her tight bra gave her not-so-big but seemingly large boobs a lift for that long clevage effect. She does’nt actually wears such clothes ever since. This is just too revealing for me to see and I didn’t stand the possible lust and sin I may commit form looking with sinful intent.So I asked her, “Why are you wearing such sexy clothes..?”

She answered back and said,

“There’s nothing to be worried about, big bro. I’ts just you and me..! Hihi!”.

“What?! Are you going crazy?! I know you don’t wear such revealing dresses. Are you sick or something?!

“I just wanted to tell you a secret. Come here quickly!”

Bec. of my confusion, we sat on the sofa and she starts to cry. I don’t know what she was trying to say. Then she said,

“Bro, its been a while and I can’t take this anymore. I will tell you my secret but pls, keep it bet. us only.. Sniff.. The real reason why I restrain myself form having a BF is bec. of… YOU..”

“Why me..? I don’t restrict you from having a boyfriend.. It’s okay with me as long as he will never hurt you and your feelings..”

“No.. I mean, you.. Sniff.. I LOVE YOU.”

“Huh?.. Well I love you too, sis. Don’t mention it.”

I felt like it was not what she really meant, so I distanced myself from her. But when I was about to go to my room, she pushed and brought me down, and she tried to strip off my pants..!

“No, that’s not what you meant by that, isn’t it..? Hehe.. Isn’t it..?!”

She moved closer to me, and told me:

“Bro, I wanna make love to you now. Could you..?please..?”
As she makes a cutie smile effect on her face, as if she was only making a joke or she wad just making a fool of me. But she suddenly removed her sando and exposed her cuddly boobs on my sight.

I warned her, “Don’t nake a fool of me, lil’ sis. I love you too, but not to this extent..”

She answered me with a teasing facial expression and said, “Would you mind if you take all of my clothes off..?”

(continued in part 2)

I am attractive, but I am not a model. I think I need to get in the best shape of my life and model and then still I won’t be enough. Plus I will get older every year and there are always new young models coming out for men to look at and love and want more than me. I want to die. Thinking about it makes me cry and feel so bad about myself. Why does that have to matter to men so much? I wish I was good enough for a man so he would fall in love with me.

Are all guys obsessed with looking up new girls photos and videos? I don’t look for guys to drool over very often at all. I want a real man.

I am thinking of stripping and being extremely strict with my diet and exercise. I don’t know what to do to feel better about myself. I feel I will never be as good as hot models my boyfriend (and probably all men) really wants. What can I do?

I’ve never had a girl before, maybe because I’m a little shy and I never asked a girl out… but the problem is that I love this girl, I’ve done so much for her but she will never see me as more than a friend… we always talk about things that we do not tell anyone else. We trust each other. She says that, if she could chose whom to love, she would chose me.

But the thing is that she always chooses guys that don’t give a shit about her feelings, and then she comes crying to me, because they always hurt her….. I can’t understand why she prefers those guys over me…. I always care about her.. I would never hurt her! I want her so much!

Next year she will go to the university and we won’t see each other so often. She will meet someone there and will never love me…….
I can’t think about other girls…. There are some girls interested on me, but I can’t love other girls……

The girl I love is not perfect, she’s not the best one in my school, but i would never want anybody else…. I just want her!

I’m afraid that I am wasting my time and she will never love me. I’m tired of being the best friend, or the “just friend” and being rejected as a lover….. I’m tired……

I’m just a pathetic guy, crying over a girl that doesn’t realize how much I love her and how I would always give my best to make her happy…….

I guess the golden shower makes it a confession. Is there any one else who likes or thought about golden showers?

She asked me what I wanted now so I explained how I would like her to be totally nude in front of a stranger. She wasn’t too sure about this, or how we would go about it. Mostly it seemed like she was concerned about safety reasons. I finally figured out that I would order some food from a nearby cafe and she could lay on the bed and pretend she was asleep. She still wasn’t too sure about this idea, and never did agree to do it, but while I was calling for delivery she knew she didn’t have a choice. At that point I was determined to show her nude body to someone and this seemed the least threatening way for her to do it.

The wait was terrible for both of us. I was anxious to make this happen and she was nervous about it happening. I was dressed and she was naked as we waited for the delivery man’s arrival. The front desk called and told us the delivery man was on the way up so she quickly got into bed, under the covers. When she had settled in, with her left arm across her eyes, I pulled back the covers to expose her nude body. She gave a little jerk as I pulled her knees open a bit to expose her pussy but didn’t move when the knock came on the door.

The delivery guy was young, maybe still in college, and as I opened the door I motioned for him to be quiet that Kiran was sleeping. He tried to peek around me, but I stepped aside and walked across the room to get money for him. He was quite surprised and looked like he wanted to say something. Again I motioned for him to be quiet and gave him the money. As soon as the door closed Kiran opened her eyes and sat up. She asked if I was satisfied, to which I replied, for now. I wanted to jump on her right then but she told me she was too hungry so I had to wait. I figured it was the least I could do since I’d just displayed her nude body to a stranger. Later that night she had me explain what had happened, what the guy looked like and what was his expression when he saw her. She finally said that it wasn’t so bad as long as she didn’t have to look at them and would do it again if I needed her to.

The easiest way for her to get used to being nude, and being seen was to get in my Datsun pick up and go for a ride. Since the vehicle was higher off the ground than most cars, and she is short, she felt reasonably comfortable and hidden sitting in it without her clothes. Whenever I would say “let’s go for a ride” she knew that she needed to show up in something that could easily be taken off, and not to wear any underwear. Most of the time I waited until we were out of the city, on the open highway, before I asked her to take off her clothes and this time was no different. She pulled off her top and shorts and handed them to me so I could put them out of her reach so she wouldn’t be tempted to grab them and try to cover up. We’d been driving for about 30 minutes enjoying the sunny day when we came upon an area of construction. All traffic was slowed to one lane, taking turns to drive through as a bridge was being repaired. Even though we were moving slowly it didn’t seem to be much of a problem but just as we got to the front of the line the “flagman” turned his sign around from SLOW to STOP. I don’t know if he suspected he might see something, or if he just got lucky but his timing was perfect because as we stopped he stood at the front bumper staring into the cab.

Kiran was starting to get nervous about this guy and reached up to lock the door. Although plenty of truck drivers and others had seen her nude body before as we’d ride around she usually would choose to ignore them unless they honked, or I asked her to acknowledge them in some way. But this guy was closer and slowly walking up to her door. He walked right up to the window and looked in at her nude body. By now he was only a few inches away from her and was staring so hard that he could have been counting her pubic hair. Kiran was getting nervous and started to blush quite a bit. She turned so red that even her breasts started to turn pink. This guy was something else, dirty, with a big belly and from what little I could hear was talking very vulgar language to himself describing her body and what he was seeing. I was beginning to think that he would press up against the glass and drool but just about then I noticed the traffic was finished from the other direction. Since it was now our turn to drive through I quickly reached over and tweaked her left nipple which immediately went into a hard little point. Then I honked the horn at him and took off across the bridge.

After we cleared the area we talked about the event and about how this was the first time somebody had seen nude body at such close range. She said it was humiliating and degrading to have him study every part of her body and stare at her pussy so long. Evidently she was able to hear much more of what he’d said about her body to himself than I had. She ended by saying what a creepy looking guy he was and if it would have been a nicer looking guy, she wouldn’t have minded as much as she did. I really thought that things were going great now, I?d finally exposed my wife?s nude body to people without any barriers or distance between them. She seemed to be resigned to the fact that I was going to do my best to parade her around naked when ever I got the chance, and had expressed a willingness to try it out to make me happy. I was ready for this next big jump in showing her off. Because I was so much looking forward to showing her off, and she?d accepted the idea, that?s what made these next 2 1/2 years all the more frustrating. Nothing I tried seemed to work out. Even when she willingly went along with my ideas something always seemed to get in the way of my plans.

The next real attempt was in a movie theater. As usual I had convinced her to go without a bra, and since she was wearing a shirt with buttons it would be easy to open her shirt to expose her tits once we were settled and the movie had started. We went to kind of an out of the way theater, and since she didn’t want any kids to see her, went to an A-rated movie. It was quite empty, and soon after it started I began to unbutton her shirt. She wouldn’t let me go to fast, but after about 30 minutes I had all the buttons undone, her shirt wide open and began to rub her bare breasts.

Although she has hard nipples, they get even stiffer with some pulling and tweaking, so I did my best to bring them to nice hard points. Everything seemed to be going great so I eased her shirt open and finally had both breasts out in the open. She didn’t seem to mind, and since the movie was terrible, was enjoying the attention I was giving her nipples. There was another couple not too far from us, and it seemed like he was trying to look over our way but his wife kept directing him toward the screen and her. If only somebody would walk in, or out, then they would have a nice view of Kiran’s tits. To my disappointment the movie ended and she quickly buttoned up as the lights came on. All the way home she told me that she’d done her part, and couldn’t help it if nobody saw her. Just because she was willing didn’t help my attitude much.

During this same time of frustration I began to share some of the nude photos I had taken of her with others. I showed them to some of the guys at work that she didn’t know. I found that at least this way I could get some satisfaction that a few people were seeing her nude body. One day she found a couple of the letters that were written to me by some of the men that had received the nude photos of her. In the letters they described how much they enjoyed the photos and what they would like to do with her body. They talked about how they had jacked off looking at her photos while they thought about having sex with her. She told me that I was ‘prostituting her’ by selling her body to these men for sex while they enjoyed the photos of her nude body. During one of these discussions I finally agreed with her, but suggested that maybe we should try it out for real instead. That pretty much ended the argument as she realized that maybe I wouldn’t actually mind doing that. It was just a few days later that she said it didn?t matter any more, and I could do as I wanted with the photos. I was smart enough to let it drop with that comment. One evening as we were sitting on the couch watching TV, and since it was nice and warm the front door was wide open to let in some fresh air through the screen door. I had it all arranged for a couple of guys from work to drop by that night. I had told them that maybe they’d get to see something special, but that was about all they knew. They hadn’t ever been over to the house before, so Kiran didn’t know them. They also were a couple of the guys that had seen her nude photos so they were very interested in meeting her. I had hoped that more than that would happen this night.

Anyhow it was about 9:30 and we’d been watching a movie while I played with her tits and rubbed her pussy. She was getting quite cozy, comfortable, and turned on by then. She was wearing a little slutty outfit that was really sheer lace in the back, but covered up the “essentials” on the front side with little strips of pink satin, of course I had unbuttoned it to play with her tits. When the knock came on the door came I simply said ?come in? and in walked a couple of guys that she didn’t know. Since the front door was between where we were on the couch, and the safety of running to the bedroom all she could do was quickly button up and try not to be too embarrassed. She didn’t want to get up because then she’d show her “almost” bare ass to them, so she put a pillow in her lap and stayed on the corner of the couch trying not to blush too much. I jumped up and offered them something to drink and asked them to sit down, which they did right across from Kiran. I could tell that they were somewhat surprised and embarrassed but also very curious. Kiran was also embarrassed by this as it was the first time strangers had seen her up close dressed in such sheer lingerie. She decided to stay sitting on the couch, under the pillow, as it almost covered her up. I think it helped that we’d already been playing on the couch as she was quite relaxed and a bit turned on by the time they arrived.

Anyhow, after I’d brought them all a drink we all sat down and chatted a little bit while watching TV like nothing was out of the ordinary. Kiran didn’t know these guys at all, which I think helped things a little bit. After about 15-20 minutes I offered them another drink and grabbing Kiran by the hand basically said “let’s go get it.” when we walked to the kitchen they had a nice view of her sheer lace covered ass. I could tell she was getting upset, because she usually doesn’t say much during those times. While we were in the kitchen I rubbed her body some and asked if I could “show her off” to them a little bit. She responded with “you’re already doing that aren’t you?” I took that as an agreement to go ahead, and began telling her how sexy she looked and how much I appreciated what she was going to do for me.

We got them something to drink; went back in the living room, and after we were sitting back on the couch a few minutes I took her pillow away from her and tossed it on the floor. By now they’d been in the house almost an hour so I decided that it was now or never and I began to unbutton her top. She was sitting beside me, so it was easy to undo the three buttons. I left it like that for awhile, so she was showing the inner curve of each breast in the open part, and the satin strips had moved aside so her nipples were visible through the lace. Eventually I opened it up to show them her titties. One of the guys was getting embarrassed, but it looked like both of them were getting turned on as I rubbed her tits and pulled on her nipples. Her tits were completely exposed now to two men she didn’t know that were sitting jut a few feet away in our own living room. By now she’d resigned herself to whatever was going on, and as she often does she just shuts her eyes and tilts her head back to let me do whatever I want. I kept on rubbing her tits and pulling her nipples and even though she felt uncomfortable about being exposed her nipples still got quite hard. After a few more minutes I thought that I might as well try my luck so I reached under her and slid her panties off. I really didn?t think that she would let me do that, but she must have decided to let me have whatever I wanted, as she quietly just lifted her hips off the couch. Now she was sitting completely nude, totally exposed, just a few feet from a couple of strange men. I tried to play with her pussy a little but she didn’t want to spread her legs right away. After a few more minutes I did manage to open them up a little bit and get a couple fingers in her cunt. I rubbed her clit for a while and fingered her cunt while they watched intently. Since she had her eyes tightly closed she couldn’t really tell what was happening in the room. But they were eagerly trying to see all they could. I think they would have jumped across the room, and jumped on her, if I would have waved them over. But I didn’t want to press my luck any farther than I already had so after a few more minutes I told them it was time to leave.

Kiran was pretty quiet after they left, but not mad enough to keep me from fucking her. As we talked about it she agreed that she hadn’t said no to anything that I had asked or done, but then she added that she didn’t think it would matter if she had. She finally told me that had she thought I was going to make her ?have sex? with them so that had made her more uncomfortable. Once again I told her how beautiful she looked, thanked her for her willingness to make me happy, and remarked about how happy she?d made these two guys also. Just so she wouldn’t think that this would be the end of our showing off I asked her how soon she’d be willing to try it again, but she didn’t really answer. The idea was so strong about the possibility that she’d have gone through with fucking them if I would have asked that I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It was at that point if life that I decided I really wanted to see getting fucked by another man. I knew it would be a while for it to work out, but I was sure it would happen sometime.

It wasn’t too long after this ‘home show’ that I got another chance to show her off in public, it was after we had gone out for dinner and a concert. When she was getting dressed I was watching and as I often do altered her choices somewhat. She was putting on a jacket that was like a suit jacket, she usually wears a blouse under it, but sometimes not, it’s held closed by just two buttons. This time I asked – her to go without the blouse, and bra also. She gave me “that look” but did what I wanted anyhow and put the jacket on over her bare breasts. All through dinner the waiter kept trying to look down the front of her jacket. She didn’t seem to notice that he was always standing above her filling her water glass or whatever. I’m sure hoping that he got a good look at her tits. After the concert we went out for a couple of drinks at a rather quiet, darkened disco. This time we were sitting in a booth, and she was on the inside. While we were waiting I reached over and undid one of the buttons of her jacket. I don’t think she realized what I had done as I was also squeezing and rubbing her a little at the same time. This opened up her jacket even more, and when the waiter brought our drinks I know he could see her tits because I could also. Since she was sitting down the jacket was bunched up, and popped open down to the one button that was holding her jacket together, and that was well below her nipple level! This time she caught him looking and when she looked down he quickly looked away. She blushed and quickly closed herself up. She gave me one of those what do you want now looks and in a sarcastic tone asked me if I wanted her to ‘take off the jacket.’ I answered her in the same way that she could at least unbutton it for awhile, and to my shock she actually did.

It was pretty dark in there, and we were sitting so we didn’t face most of the bar, so she wouldn’t really be directly exposed to anyone, unless the waiter came back.. She leaned her head back against the booth and as she often does at these times just closes her eyes and ignores the situation. Doing this was my go ahead signal so I pushed her jacket open so that her tits were completely exposed. Since she was on the inside, I was shielding her from other men’s view as I rubbed her tits and pulled them for a little while. She looked like she had gone to sleep so left her exposed like that and sat back and had the rest of my drink. By then a few people had noticed, and one guy had even moved closer so he could see her better. When the waiter came back, and he asked if we wanted something more, I could feel her twitch, but she didn’t open her eyes, or move to cover herself. I think she often believes that if she doesn’t see them they don’t exist. I asked for another round and when he left she opened her eyes and gave me a look that questioned if that was enough. She could see him coming back with the drinks so closed her eyes again and just stayed still. After he left she opened her eyes long enough to grab her drink and down it, normally she doesn’t drink much, but was nervous. She said she wanted to go, so I left some cash on the table and she pulled her jacket together as we got up to leave. She acted quite upset by it all, especially when a couple of men gave her applause as she walked by. The whole time we were in there couldn’t have been more that 15-20 minutes; and to my surprise she hadn’t buttoned her jacket when we left, but only held it together. She let it fall open when we got into the car and leaned back into the seat with her tits still exposed during the drive home. Maybe it was the combination of a couple drinks and the exposure but she seemed to be quite excited at the moment. I believe that she actually gets turned on by showing off but would never admit it as that would be improper behavior.

The next night we discussed what had happened and how we felt about it all. She hinted that it wasn’t too bad, I actually believe that she enjoyed it since she was starting to get close to 40 and liked to be found attractive, particularly by younger men. She once again expressed the discomfort she felt by being exposed in public, and worried about what could happen as a result. I reassured her that I could take care of that problem and could easily set up another private home viewing as Both of the guys, Ravi and Vishwas, had been asking for a repeat performance almost daily since that first night. It got so bad that I had to threaten to fire them, they work for me, if they didn’t shut up. Even though it had been many weeks since our ‘home show’ hardly a day went by that they didn’t make some kind of remark about it. Finally one day when they were whining I called Kiran and handed the phone to Ravi to talk to her. He started to fumble and could hardly talk. He said something like ‘thanks for letting us come over, and can we come and see you again?’ He was so flustered I could hear her laughing over the phone. Vishwas then took the phone and much clearer told her how he wanted to see her nude body and how he’d been thinking about her almost everyday since then. That surprised me since he’s married and has a good looking wife. I took the phone back and after little bit said goodbye to Kiran and told them I’d try to set something up.

I was with this guy for approximately four years. It was not a good relationship, he put me down and cheated on me repeatedly. I always had suspicions, as he would be very secretive about his computer, his email, his chat clients etc… we moved abroad together last year and right before the move, I found out he had cheated and made him confess to it. I decided to let it be because of the move. This guy was very disparaging and manipulative and finally, after a couple of months, I had had enough. I broke up with him, he brought a girl back to our place the same night. I found out he had actually been dating her and another girl for a few weeks before the breakup. It was pretty bad, first he tried to get me back, then he became controlling, even more manipulative and violent. Finally, he moved back home and I decided to stay on my own.

So, I have this stupid habit of googling people’s names. Childhood friends, family, myself, exes, my partner’s exes etc. And I’ve googled this guy a few times. Recently, I found him on a dating community. I registered a user, using my own email, to look at his profile and then immediately afterwards deleted the account. Little did I know that this community notifies its users everytime an aim contact opens up an account. And, he emailed me today, tellling me to stop spying on him. I denied ever doing it (though I did it a lot when we were together, to try and find evidence of his infidelity). He emailed back with a picture of the notification he got when I registered, and my username is his visitors’ log. So what do I do? Deny, deny, deny! I said I didn’t do it, but that I had let someone borrow my email account.

I feel physically sick, not so much because of my ex busting me, but because I am behaving like this even though I am with a new person, who is absolutely perfect in everyway and I know I will marry eventually. I don’t understand why I am obsessively looking for this type of information, and it’s not only my ex, I also look for information on my new boyfriend’s exes. Not telling him will make me feel like a crazy person (which I am not, this is a behavior rooted in being cheated on and developing a very low self-esteem) but if I tell him, I will make his disappointed. He would never do anything like this. He is genuinely the kindest and gentlest person I know.

I hate myself for doing this.

My last real confession, that is – locked in a dingy upright coffin, talking into a screen and trying to remember the words to the Act of Contrition.
Actually, it’s been about an hour and a half since my last confession.

I started on postsecret. It’s an organization (or maybe just some guy) to which people send homemade postcards illustrating their secrets and fears. Among today’s posts are “I can’t decide if I like being married or not” and “I know it’s not possible, but I would like to have a vagina, and a penis.”

But there’s no depth to the postsecret stories. You get a catchy little tidbit of someone’s deepest darkest, but…the more I read the more I wanted. Postsecret is the in for most of us, then you hear about other online confessionals: grouphug.us, dailyconfession.com, sosecret.com, rawconfessions, confessionsjunkie, e-admit, Keyfess – the list goes on. Coming from a Catholic education, tho, my fav has always been notproud. It separates the vices into seven categories. Lol, what else? The seven deadly sins.

“I assume a paternalistic attitude with my girlfriend whenever she steps her toe slightly out of line, and spank her until she cries. I tell her it’s for her own good, but I really do it because it turns me on.” Sec Today’s lust. Aren’t people disgusting?

I know it’s sort of sadistic and weird, this obsession with other people’s cruel idiosyncrasies. It also becomes a kind of self-aggrandizing ritual. You think, ‘Ok, I may have been a heinous bitch to my best friend today but check out this bastard who beats his gf to get off.’ You spend a few weeks observing but then one day at work the perfect one-liner confession pops into your head. After that, you’re just a few doubleclicks away from being glued to the monitor every time your boss takes a piss. Crazy, I know, but look who I’m talking to…you’re reading my LJ and unless you’re my sister Meredith or my bf Tom, you’re most def an established blogspotter.

My first online confession: “I use my roommate’s toothbrush after she leaves in the morning.” Since then, I’ve gone on to admit petty theft, sexual fantasies, felonies, even how I bought most of my undergrad thesis online – always anonymous, mixed in with hundreds of other daily divulgences…tho maybe I should call them indulgences.

I read the following postsecret this afternoon –

“Two months after cheating on me, my boyfriend got an e-mail from the girl he slept with – she wrote to tell him she was pregnant. I erased the e-mail and he has NO idea.”

and I thought, ‘is this a confession at all?’

Fessing up to something online is like admitting it to the trees in your backyard, only with a few thousand megabites of decadence thrown into the mix.

Confession has always been a selfish thing. Most of the time people confess to unburden themselves and in the process burden the wronged with their wrongdoing. But the point is that you’re overcome with guilt, so you put it out there and deal with whatever consequences ensue.

But what happens when there are no consequences?

I mean, drop me a line if you think I’m wrong, but I want to say that confession has typically been one of two things: you either confessed to God’s earthly proxy and received penitence in form of prayer, or you just came out and told the person you’d screwed over and braced for the impact of whatever emotional ramifications came along with the admission.

When you have neither the social/emo shit flying back at you, nor the threat of spontaneous divine retribution, what becomes of the act of confession?

Notproud’s gluttony of the day is “Pot is more important to me than my boyfriend.” Where’s the self-reproach in that? Half the confessions are written in an unmistakably boastful tone – that’s the fun of it. That’s how I got hooked. Notproud cyber-salutes sin.

Confession comes like everything for our generation, wrapped in greasy waxed paper with fries on the side. No waiting. No relevant worldly acknowledgement. No emotional consequences. No absolution.

The confessional blog is an orgy, hundreds of people linked into one big gluttonous, masturbatory celebration of their transgressions.

My last online confession: I have blogged with my friends’ secrets. I fucked around on my last boyfriend and told thousands of strangers, but not him. I have sinned and gone unpunished. I’m getting ready to post these confessions now.